I sometimes seriously do consider killing myself, leap from the balcony in attempt to end my internal suffering. But then I stop & remember that I can't do that. There is someone who is always holding me back. I can't do it because of her.
Without me, what would become of her? All of the world would crash around her, like my body on the pavement below. No one understands her the way I do.
She & her big sister are my true reasons for living. Both of them have helped me survive through such dark times & if I offed myself, all of that would be for not.
A child is nothing without the love of their mother. She is the reason I stay, the reason I keep trying to survive.