Crazy Religious Peeps

To all of the Religious People

Christians, Catholics or whoever believes that Jesus is a supernatural being:
I think shows like God, the Devil and Bob are hilarious and smart.
Jesus is my top, favorite character in Drawn Together and South Park.
I think openly worshiping the image of someone suffering is not only disturbing, but wrong.
Mel Gibson is insane.
Sitting still and being absolutely quiet for one hour in clothes that make me feel uncomfortable is NOT my idea of fun. It is boring.
Why can't we give Buddy Christ a try? He's a cool dude!
Jesus wasn't Caucasian. He lived in the middle-East. Therefore, stop giving him blue eyes & pale skin.

Satanists:
Even though you worship someone who is literally the devil, I respect all of you.
Thank you for not shoving your beliefs onto me.
Pentagrams are bit creepy, but neat-looking.
I actually have nothing bad to say about Satanists.

Scientologists:
You're a cult.
Your religion sounds like the back story to something from Star Trek. But hey, some people believe that snakes can talk and that a single family can collect 2 of every kind of animal on the planet into one titanic boat.
Why do I need to pay to get into your club?

Mormons:
South Park taught me that one man made up your religion and the way it was explained, it sounds like a scam.
Jesus didn't have teleportation powers.
'Mormon' sounds like the name of a Digimon.

Fellow Atheists:
Don't be so negative please.

To everyone/everyone else:
Get off of my front porch or I'll send my Schnauzer to bite off your feet.
Why not ASK if I want to be part of your group? There is no need to shove it onto me.
No thank you.
If God or whoever exists, why do bad things keep happening?
I think space aliens had influence on a lot of religious stuff.